Campus Coffee Tips

I drink too much coffee. In a gradual process largely spurred by my enrolment in a masters degree, I went from nursing a cup of coffee with cream every morning to requiring a continuous espresso drip to get through the day. Although my addiction to the black stuff is likely shaving years off my life, it reaps untold rewards for you, the reader! Listen as I pass on my unsolicited advice for finding a solid cup of coffee around campus.

Second Cup is Fine

Second Cup coffee often gets a bad rap. I’ve heard people refer to it as “hobo brew” or “mop water” in the past, unflatteringly lumping it together with Country Style and Coffee Time as the kind of coffee shop you only visit when you’re lost in a bad neighbourhood in Toronto. Guys, it’s not that bad. Nothing is as bad as Coffee Time. In fact, I’d take a mug of Second Cup’s Paradiso roast over whatever Starbucks and McDonald’s have to offer any day of the week. Speaking of which…

McDonald’s Sometimes Gives it Away

Over the past few years, the big M has been making aggressive (and perhaps foolhardy) attempts to topple the Tim Hortons coffee dynasty in Canada. This has included a recurring promotional campaign where, over the span of a week, they give it away. No strings attached, no accompanying purchase of a greasy Egg McMuffin required. Now technically, you’re only allowed one free small coffee a day; however, there are an awful lot of McDonald’s within walking distance of campus, and I’m pretty sure the cashiers aren’t sharing surveillance footage. Keep tabs on their social media to find out when the promotion begins.

If You Want a Milkshake, Buy a Milkshake

Guys, we need to have a serious talk about what should and shouldn’t go in a cup of coffee. A pumpkin is a gourd. You aren’t supposed to drink gourds. That’s why we don’t have butternut squash flavoured cola. Furthermore, a slice of birthday cake is meant to be accompanied by a cup of coffee, not be pureed into it. And flavoured syrup? Save it for pancakes. All joking aside, picking up a goofy Starbucks latte every morning will not only make you feel gross when the buzz wears off but will also hurt your wallet. Show a little self control and take it black.

7-11 Coffee is a Trap

A dollar a cup? Nope! Nope nope nope. I’m horrified to think where 7-11 is cutting corners on this one. And honestly, do you really trust the company that invented Doritos Loaded and the maple pancake hot dog roller to roast your coffee beans? Don’t be lured in by the garish florescent glow emanating from their Yonge and College location; just avert your eyes and walk on by.

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